In my early years, someone put an empty journal in my hands and said, "Write."
So I did. I composed poems, girlish and emotional. I wrote letters to God. I hid my secrets in the pages, the loves and hates that lived in my heart. I found and lost myself a thousand times, in a thousand words. There is no better definition to my life than what can be found in those compositions, even to this day.
Reading them is a humbling revelation. It exposes the weaknesses that I couldn’t see at the time. It reveals inner strengths that have come and gone over and over like birds to warm weather. There are more lessons to be found in the past, in those crinkled and ink spotted pages, than I had intended.
Yet, for some of the bitter, there is plenty of sweet. Watching the people I love grow through those pages, becoming the people they are today, what a delight! To remember the silliness of childhood, the awkwardness of youth, the fumblings of adolescence, and the bloom of adulthood- I chronicled not just my own path. I carried everyone around me into those books, and their stories became part of mine.
What a gift that empty journal was. It directed me down a path that changed me, and taught me. I see in those written strokes that I am Flawed and Imperfect. And yet, the beauty, the joy of writing… there is always a blank page to be filled. A new chance, a time for evolution into something better. What gift is greater than the promise of new beginnings and unwritten destinies?
So now, this is your invitation. The empty journal placed in your hands. Endless blank pages, waiting for your words, regardless of age or ability.
I say, Write.
My mom made me keep a journal as a kid as part of my education when we were homeschooling. I don't know where it is right now. But I wrote in it from the time I was 7 or 8 until about 13...? Two of my siblings were born in that journal. My youngest sister, who was the last one who seems to have known where it was, admitted to having read it (these many years later) and was filled with joy to know that her big sister rejoiced on the day she was born. :) I really wish I could find it!!
Posted by: jeannette at May 28, 2004 12:46 AMI, too, keep a journal... have kept journals... for what seems to have been all my life... and have a trunk full of them... what you express about yours is how I feel about mine... I look back sometimes... and when I read what is written... the times and places come alive again... for a little while I am there... and I find bits and pieces of me that I thought I'd lost... and am glad to rediscover... and the TIME is so there... in the words... even tho I never set out to create a history... just to pour out my heart... to myself... to God... to other people... and yet the TIME is there... entries written during the Viet Nam era... when friends... and brothers of friends... were going off to a different war... there is so much there...
Perhaps some time soon I'll take a weekend... with me and God and my trunk... and walk through the past...
Posted by: Aunt Vickie at May 28, 2004 09:21 AMshannon, im so proud of the woman you have become. keep writng!! i love you
Posted by: mom at May 29, 2004 12:43 PM