When Patrick and I got engaged, and for a while after our wedding, I recall several people telling us, "Oh, just give it two years, then you'll be wondering why you ever thought to get married!" They would usually laugh sarcastically and nudge the other older married folks in the group and say, "Am I right? Huh? Huh?" Somehow, it made them feel better to cast a shadow on our happiness - to put a fear into our minds that we were helpless to argue against for lack of experience. But, even being told this from others with more married years under their belt than our combined ages, we knew that didn't ring true.
Something created, destined, and ordained by God should never be a thing we bitterly mocked and complained about. Surely marriage didn't have to be a continual descent into a hostile union of two people "stuck" with each. I want to set the record straight for all my newly married friends and family out there: It can be incredible. We've been married six and a half years, and though that's not a lifetime, it's turning into one. I don't want to embarass my husband by going on and on about how great he is, (although he is!) but I do want to let you know that you CAN stay in love with your spouse. Yes, it evolves, it changes. It becomes something different than what you started with, but it's so much better.
So don't listen to those people. They will also tell you, "Appreciate your figure, (or your free time) because after you have kids, it all goes to pot!" Then they tell you what a chore it is to raise children, how they start out cute and turn into hellbent rebellious teenagers... or they tell you just wait till you turn 40 and start losing your youth and beauty... They've got something negative to say about every important change in your life.
BALONEY, I say. Maybe YOUR life was like that, but mine is not. I don't know why people become so jaded and sour, (though I have some theories!) but I urge you to ignore their comments and believe that life is bright, and full of promise and potential. You'll be infinitely happier if you do.
My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.
Shannon, thank you for the encouragement. I am glad to hear your cheery voice ringing out--like wisdom calling in the streets--to tell us that sanctification is real. May the Lord continue to bless you richly and grant you an ever-increasingly bright future!
Posted by: Courtney Huntington at July 21, 2003 04:08 PMCourtney, I send those wishes right back to you and Lisa, though I have no doubt that you will always find happiness in your marriage and the truckload of kids you're sure to have!!
Posted by: Shannon at July 21, 2003 04:34 PMWhat an excellent post! (You must know that for me to use an exclamation point I must have been deeply moved.) So often it seems people with more experience, in any area of life, love to rain on your parade and hate to see happiness in other people. I think it comes from seeing their own failings and shortcomings in life, followed by their desire to see others make the same mistakes and find themselves in similar states of malcontent. Having a year and half of marriage and a two-month old baby, I recognize that my experience is limited. I don't deny that there are challenges in life and life's relationships, but none that can't be met and conquered through persistent faith. While there is a great deal of work involved, being a husband and father is wonderful, and the work is not a bad thing. Anything worth having is worth working for.
Posted by: the booth at July 21, 2003 05:28 PMI bet you knew you would get alot of responses to this one!! It is encouraging to hear about any happy marriages. During Eric's and my whole engagement, we got way more good riddances than God Blesses. Of course, it was in "joking manners" but I just do not see why the two go hand in hand.
I have always looked at your's and Patrick's marraige as one that God has truly blessed.
To Ashley: I certainly count marriage as one of the top blessings in my life, that's for sure! Patrick's been really busy and working this week, so I haven't seen much of him. It got me to thinking how much I enjoy having him around and yada yada yada... next thing you know, I'm pouring it out on the blog!
To Aaron: I can't believe Sophie is 2 mo. old! Wow. Can you tell her to hold off till we see her again? I'm missing stuff!
Posted by: Shannon at July 21, 2003 06:19 PM
Shannon, you have a ways to go but you’re on the right track. Wifey and I celebrate 29 years of blinding bliss come this August 9th. It just keeps getting better. We were married one month after I turned nineteen and we were assured by some that it probably wouldn’t last. Well, here we are and I believe it is going to last. We recently acquired the titles of Papa and Gran with the birth of Sophie. I must admit it seems a little weird having a grandmother for my girlfriend, but hey, variety is the spice of life. Short engagements and very long honeymoons--that’s the way to go.
Papa Booth
Blinding Bliss- great description!
Posted by: Shannon at July 22, 2003 12:01 AMMy parents are celbrating their 28th anniversary on August 9th also! Cheers to long marriages!
By the way Shannan- great post.
My parents will be celebrating their 45th anniversary on Sept 22. I am thankful to them for their faithfulness to each other and the example they have set. When I have spoken to the "naysayers" about marriage they are usually coming from a family background where, sadly, infidelity and lack of commitment to the covenant of marriage was rampant.
Posted by: Tom at July 23, 2003 11:46 AM