Not quite a mid life crisis, but similar I guess. I'm really going through a lot of crazy things in life right now.
Major Debt; Jobless; Emotional wierdness;
On the job front I've sent out zillions of resume's and during the only interview I've gotten I was told that I was over qualified. Frustrating to say the least. I'm really wondering what to do about the job thing. I'm good at programming and web development, I love it and no one in the field wants to hire me. My own business (with John) is in ultra slow mode. I guess I'm really struggling to find out where God would have me and what he'd have me do. I believe that we all have callings and I just wish I knew more of what I'm called to do. I really want to move back to Chattanooga soon so maybe this is part of the plan. I'm going to apply at the local supermarkets tomorrow and I wouldn't feel near as bad leaving a job like that as I would leaving a programming job. I guess that's what I really need right now is a job and not a career.
On the emotional front I realized tonight that I haven't experienced real soul shaking joy in a long time. I've been anywhere from medium happy down to rock bottom shitty but not really happy/joyful. I've been on depression/anxiety meds now for over a year and I feel like I'm building a tolerance to them so I'm going to try going off for a while. If I were to try some different drug I'd have to go off the current one anyway so why not. I'm afraid that along with cutting out the real lows the drugs have cut out the high end also.
Posted by slaw at September 23, 2003 11:02 PM | TrackBackI appreciate your honest, open blog.
First, I'll pray for you.
Second, if you haven't seen it, I suggest you get a copy of What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles (Ten Speed Press). This book may help you get a job and will help you get a handle on many of life's issues.
Third, as a former Prozac popper, I suggest you do nothing about your meds until you talk to a professional. Even though you feel shitty, and believe the meds aren't working any longer (and the way you're feeling is good reason to think that), they still might be keeping you from dropping through the floor entirely.
Hang in there, bro.
Posted by: Bill Crawford at September 24, 2003 10:31 AMwe're praying for you up here on the ghetto, slaw.
Posted by: dp at September 24, 2003 07:39 PM