It has been a heck of a year for us, to say the least, with a lot of testings, but not without blessings, too. I can honestly say that when the New Year ('06) rang in, I had no idea what my family and I were in for. Much of what I had planned and anticipated did not come to fruition. The theology I learned came not from my books but from experience. I learned things about providence I had never truly known, even intellectually. My priorities became sharply circumscribed. Time will tell, but I hope I gained some humility--or at least a bit less recklessness.
For more than a year, my blog has languished. Much of it has had to do with life events that have focused my attention and energies. Some of it has had to do with different work responsibilities.
There's also been a significant factor that has had to do with a sharp decline in the substance and quality of my reading. When one is focused on the four walls (providing food, shelter and clothing for one's family), one will likely focus on ways to make that provision possible. So I read quite a bit in terms of job searching, finances, and self-management.
But another relevant factor is that I'm not asking the sort of theological and philosophical questions I was asking a year and more ago. My questions have far more to do with prayer and faithful living. And whether it's the influence of a parishioner and benefactor who counselled me to shy away from blogging about my prayer life so much, or just a growing sense of my own lack of authority on these matters, I find myself with less and less to share publicly.
So my blog has become less and less about (what I think of as) substantive issues of faith and philosophy, and a lot more about the ephemeral and entertaining. I've lost some of the focus I once had for the blog, and frequently post something just to let folks know the blog ain't dead yet.
I'm one of those inveterate goal setters, and find the whole "New Year's resolution" thing quite congenial for that bent. I have, for more than a decade now, gone through the ritual of carefully focusing my attention on several goals I wish to accomplish in a given year. Like most people, I don't get them all accomplished, though I do pretty well overall and make significant progress on the ones I don't formally complete or accomplish. That said, a couple of the goals I have as relate to this blog have to do with journaling and reading, and posting on this blog.
One of the things this blog ended up doing was to almost entirely supplant my journaling. I used to keep a journal which served as a means to think through many ideas, some of my life experiences, and to interact with my reading. Though I've never written in it every day, whereas before weeks might go by between journal entries, now months go by. I've done much (though not all) of what I used to do in my journal on this blog. So, I need to think through more carefully how I'm going to use this blog.
Related to that is a change in reading focus. Whereas up to spring of 2005, my reading was fairly focused and centered due to school and church: ancient philosophy with some classics, and books on Orthodoxy with some patristics--since then, not having to be in classes and losing focus on my dissertation proposal, my reading has been all over the map. So this year, needing to refocus on my dissertation proposal as well as to renew my Christian life activities, I will once again focus on ancient philosophy and classics with patristics and some general Orthodoxy. That will be reflected in my current and recent reading lists on the left side of the page.
We'll see how all that works out.
But there's another change I'm contemplating: Moving my blog back to blogger. I'm very hesitant to do so. Chattablogs has been great, and I've stayed with them because the MT platform has offered so much more in terms of what I want to do with blogging. But blogger has changed and now offers many of the same components. And the change of blogging place might be just the catalyst I need for this blog.
We'll see. I'm still reluctant to change platforms.
In any case, see you all next year.
Posted by Clifton at December 31, 2006 03:24 PM | TrackBackI sympathize with you. "Theology" is ultimately what you live, not what you think. I had plans for my blog but they kind of turned into general ramblings and rants and self disclosures and ordinary daily stuff with a theological thought tossed in once in a while. Apologetics I do on the radio show, theology is what I do the rest of the week. Faith is, if nothing else, real.
Posted by: s-p at December 31, 2006 10:55 PM