This is Life!: Revolutions Around the Cruciform Axis

The Ends of Abortion

If you have the stomach for it, read this article from the NY Times, When One Is Enough. (Link requires free registration.)

My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.

But the point of legalized abortion, is that one can always change one's mind.

I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''

My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?

Note well her reason for aborting two of the babies: it would interfere with her lifestyle.

I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more. . . .

On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it. . . .

So, two of her babies are killed so that she doesn't have to buy big jars of mayonnaise at Costco.

The brevity of the NY Times account of the procedure makes it all the more chilling.

He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.

When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that. . . .

I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.

The narcissism of this account, is, frankly, mind-boggling. This young woman kills two of her babies because it would cause her to change her lifestyle (which is fully in line with 75% of the reasons given by women for having their abortion). Remember, she knowingly went off birth control. Her boyfriend wanted to keep the three babies, but she shut him out of the decision leaving him no choice but to acquiesce.

I am sincerely trying to have some compassion on this young woman. Anna and I have talked to parents of multiples. And as much as a single child really brings new challenges to your life, it is multiplied geometrically by multiples. I don't make light of that at all. The loss of income and the drastic rearrangement of one's lifestyle are not at all easy things.

But it's the simple disconnect between the choice to engage in behavior that brings known consequences and then to avoid the consequences of one's behavior by the killing two lives that she willingly helped to conceive(!) which just strikes me as terribly, terribly wrong.

[Props to Touchstone's Mere Comments for the link.]

Posted by Clifton at July 20, 2004 07:00 AM | TrackBack