I have some time here at the end of the work day--my co-workers having left me to lock up and my ride coming in thirty minutes--and I've been thinking about some things, so I thought I'd "break" my less-frequent-posting rule and put these out for blog-o-verse consumption.
Today, I am saddened by the chaos in the Episcopal Church (ECUSA). When I was confirmed in April 1996 at the hands of Bishop Peter Beckwith (Springfield), I felt as thought I had "come home." For more than five years I'd been searching for some sort of connection to the historic Church. Raised in the Stone-Campbell/Restoration Movement churches, I had the right orientation (seeking the one, true "New Testament" Church), but the wrong method (sole focus on the New Testament, jettisoning some 1700 years of Church history). Gone were the sacraments, the Tradition, the Eucharist. In their place was a truncated doctrinal "purity" that was more about "knowing" the Truth, rather than loving Him Who is the Truth. Don't get me wrong: we were the typical "Jesus and me" evangelical church group. We were all about "falling in love with Jesus." But being a Christian was more like thinking the right doctrinal thoughts. We most sincerely didn't understand why such a focus didn't bring about the unity for which we labored.
For several months shortly after my graduation from Bible college, I did look into the Roman Catholic Church. If there was an historical connection, I thought, surely Rome had it! But I could not leave behind my doctrinal concerns over papal infallibility, the immaculate conception, and a beauracractic/legal understanding of Church unity. Enter ECUSA. Well, actually, I'd already been looking at ECUSA for some months by then. Robert Webber's Evangelicals on the Canterbury Trail provided strong impetus to head toward Canterbury (via 815). But it wasn't until I'd essentially experienced the darkest implications of the "doctrine" of congregational autonomy in the Stone-Campbell churches that I made my way into ECUSA via Trinity parish.
If I'd never left the parish, and never read any news reports, I would have thought that the way of life of Trinity and the Springfield diocese was exactly what ECUSA was/is. But after about a year and a half, General Convention 1997 mandated women's ordination (despite previous promises of latitude for differing convictions) and my wife and I moved to Baton Rouge, and I got a wider view of ECUSA. The college chapel Anna and I attended in Baton Rouge was great. The rector was my age, a graduate of Nashotah, and engaged with the college youth. But it was while there that I began to understand the ECUSAn world I'd been engaged in was only a small piece of a much different picture. Subsequently, I found myself in seminary, General Convention 2000 presented a resolution that "made" extramarital sexual relationships (heterosexual and homosexual) equivalent to marriage, and I was confronted with a side of ECUSA I'd never before seen or known.
It has not been painless since then. A year ago I found myself realizing that I could not then, as an aspirant for holy orders, in good conscience adhere to the tenets of the denomination. And while there might be any number of bishops and parishes outside my own home "turf" who might welcome such a ministry as I might offer, I could not take ordination vows with my fingers crossed. I would be forced to own all that ECUSA stood for. And the official happenings (whether "merely" resolutions or more formally canonical) were such that several important items I would have to condemn. So I withdrew from ordination. An expensive journey, leaving me with an as yet unfinished degree (need to write that thesis), and some $25K in indebtedness. But sometimes the faith and one's conscience trumps "wasted" time and lost funds.
Now General Convention 2003 for ECUSA is nearly arrived. Though the ECUSAn bishops had heretofore given an public proclamation that no resolutions for official approval of rites for same-sex unions would be discussed, GenCon '03 will be forced to discuss and vote on an openly gay bishop-elect (Robinson in New Hampshire). Since Bishop Ingham (in Canada) has officially approved rites for same-sex unions in his diocese, many observers realize that despite the ECUSAn bishops previous proclamation, discussion of same-sex rites is now inevitably going to happen. Worldwide, the Anglican communion is seemingly coming apart, as two-thirds world bishops openly condemn Bp Ingham's actions and have severed communion with him, and seem ready to do the same with all of ECUSA should the church pass such resolutions at GenCon.
Today's picture of ECUSA is not that in which I was confirmed in 1996. I have lost something here. And it may well be that many parishioners, priests and bishops will be losing something much more, as well. We'll see in about a month, I suppose.
Since when did activist agendas--even in the name of "justice"--trump faithfulness to the past, and faithfulness to the present, not to mention faithfulness to the future? Why are so many lives being sacrificed on the altars of various agendas? I am angry and hurt for myself and my ECUSAn brothers and sisters.
Posted by Clifton at June 10, 2003 11:21 AM | TrackBack