In the monastic literature, "thoughts" (logismoi) are both "thoughts" in the ordinary sense and also are those "thoughts" which can be provoked by demons and lead to sin. Jesus said, "He who looks on a woman with the intent to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28). And Paul urges the Corinthian church to "Take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Being of a philosophic mind, I have understood this Battleground of Thoughts to be mainly about Truth: Knowing what is and is not real about God and the world. Recently, however, I have come to understand this battle in a much more broad and intensive sense. It is not just about thinking rightly; it is also about keeping one's thoughts pure.
This did not dawn on me all at once. In fact, the story begins before I really started to grasp this askesis of purity of thought. It was the last Monday morning in December just past. I woke to my alarm, sat up and turned it off. The very first conscious thought I had was the haunting Byzantine chant from the Orthodox Matins service of the previous morning: "Blessed art Thou, O Lord, teach me Thy statutes."
As it so happens, this is becoming a more frequent occurrence. The Monday mornings after the previous day's Matins and Divine Liturgy now frequently have me awaking with a hymn from the service as my first thought. Once it was "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal" of the Trisagion hymn. Once, this Monday morning experience even stretched into a Wednesday morning experience.
In a different vein, a couple of weeks ago, I was lying in bed just prior to falling asleep, my mind roaming, when an impure thought came to the fore. I do not recall whether it was a thought of anger, contempt or even lust. The only thing I do remember was my response, which was immediate. "I reject this thought in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Lord Christ, have mercy on me and save me." I was not troubled by any other sinful thoughts that night and soon fell asleep.
Now granted, this is only a couple of experiences. I hardly qualify as a spiritual teacher. But my experiences, when put together, did help me realize the importance of battling for purity of thought. I need to both fill my mind with Scripture and the prayers of the Church. I must carefully guard my thoughts against sin.
This was brought home to me in a dream I had yesterday morning. I had somehow acquired a cloth bag full of snakes. They were all extremely tiny. Dozens of them were wrapped in a cloth ball about the size of a grapefruit. I could not leave the bag well enough alone, however. I kept coming back to it, toying with it, attempting to look inside. Finally, I untied one corner and faster than thought, the snakes began to escape throughout our apartment. One even found its way through a hole in my shirt right in the center of my chest. Many of them immediately began to get larger; some were the size of a boa constrictor. One of the larger ones began to swallow one of the ferrets we owned until just recently. I got the poor guy free after much struggle. Another snake I tried to throw out of the apartment, and it attacked a neighbor below. Snakes began to take over the apartment, and I eventually awoke.
It is terribly difficult to fight these impure thoughts, I find. More difficult than can be imagined, even in a fitful morning dream. But the monastics testify that this sort of thing, while it is an endless battle in our earthly existence, is yet a battle in which we can know consistent victory. If we continually struggle and call on the name of the Lord for help.
[Note: Huw has blogged on this topic today as well. And Karl has an important blog on hesychia, and its relation to guarding one's thoughts, today as well.]
Posted by Clifton at February 25, 2003 02:01 PM | TrackBack