April 21, 2004

Well, If I Do Say So Myself, I Never Took This Advice

[Yep, that's me: Outraging women and feminists everywhere!]

If You Want To Be Happy

CHORUS
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
so for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you (repeat)

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
Doing the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
Then you will be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
She'll always give you peace of mind

CHORUS
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you (repeat)

So if your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly her eyes don't match
Take it from me she's a better catch

CHORUS
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you (repeat)

Say kid YES
I saw your wife the other day UH HUH
And she's ugly
HA HA BUT SHE SURE CAN COOK

CHORUS
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you (repea)

Posted by Clifton at April 21, 2004 05:00 AM | TrackBack
Comments

This isn't going to help your argument over at Tripp's blog.....well, at least Megan won't find it funny.

:)

Posted by: Karl Thienes at April 21, 2004 10:08 AM

You know, Lyle Lovett has a song entitled "She's No Lady" that I love.

She hates my mama
She hates my daddy too
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night
She's no lady she's my wife

The preacher asked her
And she said I do
The preacher asked me
And she said yes he does too
And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son she's no lady she's your wife

And I can't remember
How I met her
Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can't remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

And even though
She loves the smell of French perfume
And even though
She walks around in high-heel shoes
All I know
Is I'm the one who pays her price
Man she's no lady she's my wife

And I can't remember
How I met her
Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can't remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

Yea she hates my mama
She hates my daddy too
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night
She's no lady she's my wife

Good thing there are no songs like this about me wandering around. Now that there would be a crying shame, 'twould!

Posted by: AngloBaptist at April 21, 2004 04:20 PM

DOn't know why but it reminded me of this 'un
http://www.contemplator.com/england/oldmaid.html

Posted by: Huw Richardson at April 21, 2004 11:41 PM
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