Country Kitchen is a nice, quaint name for a restaraunt. Especially one that sells fried chicken.
I don't see very many places called Country Kitchen, though. What I see a lot of is Kuntry Kitchen. Apparently, if you misspell the name it is cute and therefore the food tastes better.
I guess forcing an allitteration into the name of your establishment makes you more marketable.
I guess a place with a name like Country Corner, with a pre-existing alliteration, would be OK then, right? Wrong. At least 50% of the establishments named Country Corner are actually called Kuntry Korner, misspelling both country and corner to achieve a kuteness kwotient.
Nobody ever opened a place called Country Citchen. For reasons of decency, Cuntry Citchen is out of the question. No one likes to spell anything with a C anymore. It's all about the K, baby.
Speaking of babies, I really hate it when people try to get too cute and alliterate their childrens' names.
A relative of a relative of mine had twin boys a few years ago. She named them Kaleb and Kyle. Note the gross misspelling of the name Caleb. Caleb and Kyle would still alliterate just fine, but apparently it's illegal to have twins and NOT start their names with the same letter. So now poor Kaleb is stuck with a name that he's going to have to spell every day for the rest of his life. Why? Bbecause it was cute for the first three years of his life. Poor guy. What a load of krap.
Look. I have no problem with nonstandard spellings, but parents have to realize that the kuter they try to name their child, the more often said child is going to have to spell his or her name as an adult. Kute names are fine for children, but once you're in middle school the kuteness wears off and then poor Kaleb, Cyle, Caitie, Aimee, Breideigh, Dayved, Khris, Byph and Joolee are stuck with these names for the rest of their lives.
Kommon sense. Think about the future. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!
Here is a list of the most common novelty names these days. You can expect to see classes full of girls with these names, spelled in an interesting variety of ways:
Kylie, Kyla, Kayla, Kaylie, Kyleigh, Keighlah, Keighleigh
Today is Halloween.
In a move designed to make sure absolutely nothing of any educational value happens today, teachers are allowed to wear costumes.
I reprised my alter ego, The Corrector. A few students have recognized me.
Unfortunately, I have nowhere to keep my keys.
She had a fax machine,
She kept her modem clean
Could someone please write the rest of this for me?
Back on August 25, I posted an entry wherein I ruminated upon my status as a very minor, local celebrity due to my participation in a television show called On the Other Hand.
Celebrity takes many forms, and I find that I am another kind of local celebrity as well.
I am a high school teacher. Students recognize me and greet me when they run into me outside of school. If I go to the mall and see a familiar teenage face staring at me, I know it's probably because he or she is a student at my school, not because I was on TV.
Years from now, very few people will remember On the Other Hand. But quite a few will remember the crazy math teacher.
I like being famous on whatever level fame comes.
Bob Barker has now outlived at least 2 TPIR announcers.
Johnny Olsen, who immortalized the phrase "Come on Down!" many years ago, died a while back. He was replaced by the somewhat flamboyant Rod Roddy, who wore bright, shiny suits and looked like a cross between Willard Scott and Rush Limbaugh on Ecstacy. I cannot help but believe that he was probably un-fazed by the wiles of Janice, Holly and Dian back in the 80's.
Rod Roddy died yesterday, of cancer, at the age of 69.
I heard here at work that he had colon and breast cancer. I could go online and get my facts straight, but I'm too lazy.
I suppose there's a new voice on TPIR now. Anybody know who it is?
All the local news affiliates really stress their weather coverage.
They all strive to outdo each other, giving you the first/longest/most accurate/most entertaining weather segment in the region.
Why is weather coverage that important? Most of us have no clue where the weather comes from or why the weather is going to be a certain way. We just want to know 3 things:
1) How should I dress?
2) Can I put off cutting the grass another day?
3) Can I play golf tomorrow?
Don't bore me with fronts, dewpoints, and all that nonsense. Tell me what the temperature is going to be tomorrow and when it's going to rain. That's all I need to know. Otherwise, I see no reason to allow 15 minutes worth of a 30 minute newscast be consumed by the weather.
I just read a review of the new movie Radio starring Cuba Gooding, Jr and Ed Harris. This review coined a new term -- at least it was new to me.
Middlebrow
I guess this describes stuff that is somewhere between highbrow (like The English Patient) and lowbrow (like Crank Yankers).
Middlebrow. Just what I need. Another word that means nothing.
This recent practice of visiting teams gathering on the home team's logo on the football field and stomping up & down on it has got to go. It is a horrible display of classlessness and should result in fines or punishment. High school and college athletes especially should teach better sportsmanship than this.
Today I administered the PSAT test to about 22 sophomores in high school. Although most students won't know how they did on their PSAT until December, we already know what one girl in my room got on hers.
Vomit.
Yep, with 15 minutes left in the test, a girl puked on her answer sheet and test booklet. Then it was up to yours truly to clean it up while the rest of the kids finish their test with the smell of early morning hurl hanging in the air.
I don't know the girl; she's not one of my regular students. But I really feel sorry for her. There's no telling how long she sat there, feeling miserable, trying to get through the test. Fortunately, she hadn't eaten anything yet, as evidenced by the lack of consistency in her puke.
I love teaching. Just think, elementary school teachers probably have this same experience twice a week.
Lately the Head Morons in Chattanooga have decided they want to be the Boulder of the East. That's Boulder, as in Boulder, Colorado.
Why on earth would we want to be the Boulder of the East? What's so special about Boulder?
The skiing? Sorry, it's going to cost too much to move a big, skiable mountain to Chattanooga and bump our elevation up a few thousand more feet above sea level.
The higher cost of living? Yeah, we all want that.
It must be that Mork & Mindy was set in Boulder. Yeah, I'd want that for Chattanooga. That must be it.
Whyt isn't anyone concerned with becoming the Chattanooga of the West? I guess they like to aim higher.
Major League Baseball is dead to me. It is cruel, heartless, soulless and evil. A Cubs - Red Sox World series would have saved baseball. Casual fans all over the country would have tuned in.
A Yankees - Marlins WS is just business as usual in the corporate machine that is Major League Baseball. I hope both teams lose. At least now I can start going to bed at a reasonable hour.
Several weeks ago, Bill posted in his blog about some really good soup he was eating. I think it was called Cambell's Mega Noodle. I looked for it, but could not find it at the Wal-Mart SuperStore in Fort O.
I did, however, discover another tremendous Cambell's soup that is by far the best canned soup I've ever put in my mouth.
Cambell's Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
It's spicy, delicious, and not contaminated with okra.
You must try it. Today. Right now. This minute. Before I go buy all of it for myself.
I'm a nice, easygoing guy with a lot of patience and a forgiving nature. I can't help feeling, though, that life is incomplete without someone to hate.
I don't hate anyone right now, but I feel that if I met just the right person, I could hate him or her whole-heartedly for a long, long time.
I don't mean I want to do anyone any harm, physical or otherwise; I just want someone toward whom I can focus all of my feelings of ill will. I need a scapegoat. I need a patsy. I need someone to hate.
I would prefer it to be someone I don't know personally, but otherwise it can be almost anyone else in the world.
Please make suggestions or volunteer yourself.
Have you ever been grossed out? I think I have, but I'm not sure.
Are there physical symptoms to being grossed out? How does being grossed out differ in severity from simply thinking something is gross?
Off the top of my head, I'd say that you are grossed out if you encounter something so disgusting that you are temporarily unable to function.
Your thoughts?
I have a cold. I feel like dog doo that's been scraped off the bottom of a 3rd grader's shoe with a stick and set on fire.
A few moments ago I took a dose of my family's secret recipe cold cocktail remedy:
1 mega dose of Vitamin C
1 mega dose of Vitamin E
1 Ecinacea tablet
2 Tylenol Sinus (non-drowsy)
In about an hour I will be feeling no pain, except for in my chest, where my heart will be pounding at a mile a minute.
Hey, the math teacher's high! My students are in for a treat today.
I keep seeing commercials about various anti-drugs. Parents, hobbies, friends, sports, art, etc -- you name it, and it can be considered some kind of anti-drug.
It doesn't work, by the way. Right before I had a drug test recently I spent over 3 hours doing needlepoint, hoping that such a large dose of anti-drug would nullify any traces of crank still in my system. No such luck.
But I was wondering -- If parents are an anti-drug, could drugs be considered an anti-parent? If friends are an anti-drug, could drugs be an anti-friend? If I hate my friends, can I make up for it by doing drugs?
It boggles the mind. Then again, so do drugs.
The Cubs could have clinched a spot in the world series last night. They played a great game until the 8th inning, when they fell apart and blew it. My wife, who has been somewhat of a Cubs fan her whole life, was beside herself.
I can't believe it! They were doing just fine, and then they blew it all in less time than it takes to sing "Happy Birthday!" Why do I watch this team? Why do I invest my emotions in this team only to have them ripped to shreds and stomped on the floor like an elderly cockroach?
As a fan of Vanderbilt football, all I could say was "Welocme to my world, honey."
I've become so desensitized to watching my team lose to {Western Michigan, Miami-Ohio, MTSU, Navy} over the years that I'm no longer shocked by their tendency to collapse at the precise moment I begin to get hopeful.
My wife, the longsuffering Cubs fan, is just now learning this lesson.
We found out on Sunday that it's actually fairly normal for a baby to stop having bowel movements as frequently at some point. We were worried because our son (12 weeks) hadn't pooped in over 24 hours, but my lovely wife read up on the phenomenon and it's apparently no cause for alarm.
Fine, right? Less dirty diapers to change.
Then, last night at about 6:45, he lets loose with a diaper-filling BM that went up the back of the diaper and pretty much got all over everything we own.
We need to get this boy potty-trained ASAP.
Last night, Bill and I finally got around to recording the audio commentary for the OTOH DVD which will be available for you to order fairly soon.
As if you really wanted to hear what we had to say about it all...
The collection looks really good; Bill did an excellent job piecing it together. And you will enjoy the bonus features too.
Cuba Gooding, Jr won an Oscar for Jerry Maguire.
Kevin Klein won one for A Fish Called Wanda.
Jim Carrey will be nominated for one within the next 6 years.
Eminem has an Oscar.
I can't believe that Eminem has an Oscar. It's just silly.
If you are getting married and you want to have a decent wedding reception, don't forget the key ingredient: shrimp.
Too many times I have attended typical Baptist wedding receptions in gyms or fellowship halls where the food consisted of only mints, nuts, punch and cake.
The really good ones have shrimp. All you can eat.
I went to a wedding last night where they had shrimp the size of my forearm. I almost ate myself into a coma. Then I danced off about 16 pounds to the sounds of an 80's cover band.
But the best part was the shrimp.
I enjoy watching Scrubs. It's very funny. But it's a voiceover show.
Three Sisters was a voiceover show. Hidden Hills was a voiceover show. Notice how many of the voiceover shows must be referred to in the past tense? That's because they don't usually last very long.
A voiceover show is one that opens and closes with a voiceover done by a major character. The opening voiceover sets up the theme of the episode; the closing voiceover reflects upon said theme in an often sappy, unfunny manner.
I tend to hate voiceover shows, Scrubs being one noticeable exception. It seems like in the last few years there have been an unusual amount of them (mostly on NBC).
What other voiceover shows do you remember?
My favorite thing about Columbus Day? Getting the day off (as a government employee)!
My other favorite thing? Furniture stores have their big Columbus Day Sale Spectacular. To make matters even more ridiculous, they will usually advertise a huge pre-Columbus Day Sale.
You know, so you can avoid the Columbus Day rush and spend time with your loved ones, singing Columbus Day carols and the like.
Right now I think my favorite song is When You're Next to Me by Mitch & Mickey. Very good tune. The autoharp is so underappreciated these days.
I stayed up late last night to watch game 1 of the NLCS. Not a bad game, but I didn't care too much for the ending.
The first 10 or so hits in the game all went for extra bases. There were at least 4 triples and 4 or 5 homers. The Cubs came out like gangbusters, scoring 4 runs in the first. Then the fish struck in the 3rd for 5. Finally, after 11 innings, Chicago failed to produce and the game was history.
The most painful part of watching the game, though, was listening to broadcasting newcomer and former Marlins pitcher Al Leiter try to contribute in the booth. Poor guy. He had almost nothing to say, and the other broadcasters had to work really hard to remind us that he was even there with them.
Adios
I bought a Chick-Fil-A cow calendar that a student was selling as a fundraiser. I bought it because the cows on the front are dressed as superheroes (no Corrector, though...) with the caption:
United They Stand!
Divided They're Steak!
I love that. And I love Chick-Fil-A. But why's it have to be so expensive?
I love the 80's station. This morning, as I was up way to early for the good of mankind, they played "19" by Paul Hardcastle. Remember that one? N-N-N-N-Nineteen. I probably hadn't heard that one since 1985. It was nice. Then they played "Freeze Frame."
Makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning. Almost.
Here's a quick glance at everything going on in my life right now, not particularly in order of importance:
1) 11-week old baby at home
2) Teaching high school math on block schedule with 3 preps
3) Grad school every Monday from 4:30 to 9:30 for fifteen months
4) Coaching the Academic Team, including 2 practices (either before or after school) and one match per week
5) Directing a One-act play for region competition to be held at 9:30 AM on 1 Nov. As I write this, we just finished our second rehearsal. Rehearsals are also before or after school.
6) Blogging regularly
7) Maintaining a marriage
8) Maintaining a house with a yard that is covered with gras that has grown unchecked to about nipple level
9) My sister is getting married at 4:00 PM on 1 Nov (see # 5)
10) Meeting semiregularly with Bill to plan future entertainment endeavors
11) Fitting in at least 6 to 8 hours of TV a day
When do I sleep? Maybe in January. But not much.
I think I'd like to see a Cubs-Red Sox World series. That way, no matter who wins, it will put an end to decades of frustration.
Things like that give hope to a Vanderbilt football fan.
I watched quite a bit of the Braves-Cubs game last night on FOX. Know what's really annoying? That graphic that comes swooshing across the screen with the racecar noise every time they cut to a replay or back to live action. Cut it out!
Know what else is really annoying? That thing Sammy Sosa does every time the camera is on him. You know what I mean:
1) kiss two finders
2) point at camera
3) thump chest with fist twice
4) kiss fist
5) point at camera
6) touch chest with index finger
7) kiss knuckle
8) thump chest with fist
What is this, some kind of stationaery Domincan line dance?
By the way, I spell stationaey that way so I don't have to remember when to use an a and when to use an e.